BANNED From Television!

I never thought I would be the mother to ban TV shows (age appropriate of course) but after watching certain shows with my son. It was only a matter of time. I'm all for educational purposes. And even enjoy how some shows put music and teach kids how to act in certain situations. Some I can tolerate because I simply tune them out. Some on the other hand has got to go.

There are 3 television shows that are BANNED in my house. I know, I know, a little extreme, well more than extreme but if my son ever wants to see the light of day, he is not allowed to watch these shows. I was being sarcastic. He will live.

First culprit.

The infamous asshole

He Who Must Not Be Named.

Is the Lord Voldemort of Television.

Trying to make children into pure unacceptable obnoxious brats.

He is the most annoying, disrespectful, whiniest child ever.  Why is this bald headed child still on television? I mean really? His voice is annoying and everyone around him wants to get away from (speaks volume huh?). He is just the ultimate of effing annoyance. How the hell does his mother deal? Oh that’s right she doesn't she just give him what he wants to shut him the hell up. If I had a child like that, I would be a steady drunk, because I just could not deal with his shit sober.  And even drunk, his ass would be up for adoption (I just can’t).

I am convinced that the meaning of Caillou is “the bald headed kid that whines” because that is all he does. *roll eyes* So over it. My son is not ever allowed to watch that douche. 

And I am serious. He is actually BANNED from my television. If his show comes on, I IMMEDIATELY change the channel. I won’t give that little fucker a chance to show himself to my child. My son already has his faults he doesn't need this jerk to empower it. Ugh! I LOATHE Caillou.

To break it down, please don’t ever introduce your child to this annoying little child. He is not worth the cartoon sketch just to watch. He is altering children minds to become a whiny, over sensitive, self-centered brat.

Yo Gabba Gabba

Uhm…wtf?

That is all I have to say. What in the hell is this? The producer of this show is clearly on drugs. I mean really. Wtf? How is this show okay for kids??? It’s like being on a bad drug trip. Acid? Shrooms? Some hallucinogenic shit.

I tried giving this show a chance. I swear, I promise, but this one right here is just a little too much for me.  I couldn't get past its initial purpose because I was tripping off the monsters. It doesn’t have a whiny kid (thank God) but it has some colorful monsters and a guy that jumps around and play music. 

Uhmm….okay….

I understand it has a positive side such as teaching children to be polite but does it need a man in an orange jumpsuit dancing and parading around with a bunch of creepy monsters behind him? Now when I think about it. He is wearing an orange jumpsuit. Maybe they are subconsciously saying he is jail? This is his hell? And anyone who watches it can also join the ride down under.

No parent has to do any type of drug with this show on the air. If they ever need a trip, Yo Gabba Gabba is available every day for the price of whatever your cable/satellite provider charge.

Curious George

Am I the only one that truly think this monkey is just a little too damn curious? They should have made him a cat instead of a monkey, to show children that curiosity can cause harm. I remember watching one episode and this little monkey had his own adventure without any supervision. As all of them are but watching that particular episode it dawned on me that this damn monkey is going to kill my baby.

Okay, okay, he won’t. I was just being extreme and over dramatic.

But back to this nonsense of a show. Can someone please tell me who The Man In The Yellow Hat is? Who is this man? Why doesn’t he have a name? What’s his secret? What is he trying to hide? Are Professor Wiseman and The Man In The Yellow Hat perhaps dating? And if so, why doesn’t she tell that man to get rid of that damn monkey. All these questions and I have no answers.

And why is Bill the country boy such an ass? He’s a know it all. But here’s the kicker, he doesn’t know George is a freaking monkey? What? Huh? I’m confused. So EVERYONE knows George is a monkey but the self-proclaimed KNOW IT ALL? 

Sigh.

Now Bill, if you’re so damn good and proper how the hell have you not noticed this crap yet?

Huh Bill? Huh!? Go play with your kite and fly your proper ass with it.

But here’s my kicker, George isn’t completely banned from the house only because sometime I need that crazed monkey around to keep my monster occupied. Yes! I know after everything I have said that little monkey is allowed to come around sometime. 

And when I say sometime. 

He is as welcome as the in laws are.